I jst wanna talk abt smtn... Last time i wasn't going great... But i have 2 questions. DO you consider me as a friend or not? And if I was really hurt, will I be able to talk abt you without having any mockeries?
So I have the courage to talk abt this and I eventually cried several times when writing this...
So back in 2019, when COVID camed, i was in CE2 (equivalent of 3rd grade) i discovered i had enchopresis.
To avoid graphic explanations, i'll try to explain what is enchopresis is.
Enchopresis is when your big intestine have trouble to digest correctly. It makes a big 💩 inside and cracks the uh...
the evacuation part (wihout saying the word). Blocked on the inside, it cause it to have it liquid whihc I can't feel it and
at the result makes me 💩 in me everytime it happens.
Real signs of it was in CM2 (equivalent of 5th grade), but in CE2 i had a SLIGHT ONE, not a big deal, therefore i got builled everytime. Over,over and over even in today i keep getting bullied.
My story doesn't end here.
When im in 6e (6th grade), I was with new classmates, some of them were my "friends" and some others, my bullies.
Not everything that much everything was a lil great expect a few insults and that creep of Kylian but yeah whatever.
Bad days were in 5e (7th grade), when i met with Shayna which bullied me so hard that she even told the prinicpal that I was talking abt -18 things (which weren't true) so the principal jst let it go. Over, over and over.
It got even worse in 4e (8th grade), another one Mattéo, jst wanted me out of College and having me as a bad reputation cuz i think he was jealous of me. So he teamed up with Shayna and tried to do a plaint against me at the Police. The police weren't dumb and rejected the plaint. But in November 2024, Shayna said to principal that apparentlyt I asked her to be without her clothes and bla bla. Nothing maked sense but those bullied went on me because if they are more, they would win. Ofc they didnt.
My deepest trauma and depression started here. (this is were i cried the most when i writed this)
I had traumas, my enchopresis made no sense, they would have made fun of me life crazy like
in my head... I thinked this was it...
I wanted to 💀😵 (no joke)
Good thing, i didnt but if I was brave of that, i wouldnt be here to talk with you guys.
December of 2024, my mom changes me to another college in January.
And honetly, yea this was cool at first but...
My traume hasn't been done yet.
Now im in 3e (9th grade) and I still have mockeries of my enchropresis and some else.
My trauma is haunting me for now 9 years (im 14 btw so since i was 5 it haunted me)
Im telling this rn cuz those time I werent the same and nobody felt something odd.
That's right, all the time i was writing those messages, I was in depression, even if i don't express it, i feel it.
My parents are no help, nobody except my true friends helped me in that.
(i am literraly crying so much rn)
*I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT
AND IF SHOULDNT EXIST THAT EVERYTHING WENT BETTER
I NEED HELP BUT I CAN'T FIND BUT...
yea... Rly hard for me.
Sry if it's so long but i jst need to be loved by true friends, i have never been loved and if this continues it can be dangerous for me...
Hope y'all understand
